I have endured many things in my life from verbal to physical abuse. The most recent of events I went through was from a woman who lives in the village near me. She came to my house before Ramadan screaming and accusing me of utter filth throwing in derogatory terms about me being a foreigner and claiming ‘western women have no self respect or shame’ This woman accused me of foul things and was just having a huge rant.
Subhan Allah, I recall feeling confused and couldn’t understand why this woman was so enraged and why I was on the receiving end of her anger. She returned 3 times to me and even during Ramadan while fasting she tried to attack me while I was in my car. She threw rocks and kicked my car, she slapped and banged the windows, at one point she even tried to break the mirror.
This whole time my neighbours would come to me after every ‘visit’ of this woman who we had now learnt her husband had divorced her. They would tell me to be patient and that Allah would reward me greatly for not responding to her or fighting her back. I had to remind myself Im a muslimah and just because someone else is wronging me doesn’t mean I can wrong them. I was forced to swallow my anger.
No person has drunk a better draught than he who has swallowed anger for God’s sake.
It was apparent to me that this woman wasn’t normal, she appeared very angry and just didn’t look like she was fully accountable, her whole demeaner wasn’t right. I had to eventually inform the police as the woman started to say she will kill me and wont stop until I’m dead.
The Prophet peace be upon him has praised the one who is able to control himself at the time of anger, and has said “The powerful man is not the one who is able to wrestle, but the powerful man is the one who is able to control himself at the time of anger”
The police had already been aware of this woman and that she is mentally unwell, they agreed to speak with her and that if she continued she would be arrested. The saddest part of this story is this woman has 6 kids and her husband has left her to seek a marriage with a new woman.
Their relationship is not my business and their problems are between them, but as she took her anger out on me due to her own narrow minded views of me as a revert from the west I learnt a lot about what was going on in her life. Regardless of her attacks at me and my honour I reminded everyone that as a member of the community we have an obligation to care for one another and this woman is not mentally fit to care for her 6 children.
Eventually the woman calmed down and started to listen and realised I had nothing to do with her husband. Her hatred toward me started from me being a foreigner even though I’m a Muslim woman who is fully covered and I try my best to adhere to my religion she saw me as an indecent woman because of the colour of my skin which is actually very common these days that Muslim women are looking down on reverts especially in Muslim countries. This was not the first time a woman has made slurs at me for being a foreigner but this was by far the worst.
When I spoke to this woman and she apologised it became apparent to me she had been mentally tormented by numerous women her husband had wanted to marry before he divorced her. These women had even contacted her abusing her and tormenting her for their own sick joy. I was disgusted how she had spoken to me, about me and thought of me but after learning of her situation I realised silence was not weakness it was my best stance in this situation and my neighbours spoke up to defend me.
Yes I could have argued with her, fought her and even run around crazy like her to defend myself. I thank Allah that He gave me the patience to endure such trials as when I remained silent this woman became more enraged and said worse lies about me to try and force me to talk to her and I guess to defend myself and give her the fight she wanted. But for those who fear Allah, He provides for them a way out of every hardship. For any woman who has been abused publicly or lied about, you know how hard it is to swallow and keep patient but the truth is only decent people will refuse to listen and the low scum will run to pay an attentive ear.
The saddest part of this story is that the woman, she is still alone without the father of her children and due to the unfortunate state of affairs in Morocco she wont receive help for her mental state nor will her children be counselled in what they saw or emotionally supported through their lives. This woman spoke the worst of words about their father in front of them while I kept trying to usher them away to play.
My community now have turned their back even more on this woman after seeing her conduct and although Allah sent people to defend me and aid me, comfort me and be a reminder for me they have left this woman to her own affairs.
One cant deny that we reap what we sow and this woman very much may be in the situation she is in because of her own conduct, for engaging in arguments and attacking people and their honour who have nothing to do with such situations.
Verily, anger corrupts faith like as the juice of bitter plants corrupt honey.