I won’t Be Here For You Anymore!

Often times I found myself being the one who contacts people and asks how they are, how’s their iman and if they need anything. Lately I sat down after going through many trials and pondered over who even knew what was happening in my life, who bothers to ask about me or my iman unless I ask them first ? Who even really cares ?

I have always been that person people tell everything to, that people will call at 2am and need to have a talk or need something. I never minded because I told myself, I’m Muslim and they need my help I will help them for the sake of Allah as long as I’m capable of that.

I realised that may be I was actually harming these people more then helping them since they would become dependant in me being there for them everytime ” something happened ” and when I wasn’t they would be distraught and tell me they didn’t know what to do.

There is nothing wrong in asking for help but our first reaction and call should be to ask Allah to alleviate us from what we suffer from and to provide for us a way out. It is preferable to not ask others and be patient.

Many times when people found out the afflictions I whent through and asked why I didn’t ask them for help my first thought is, why you as my sister in Islam wasn’t concerned enough to know my state of affairs and secondly it is more benefitting to ones situation and better for their iman and aqeedah to be patient and wait for the help of Allah after asking Him because He is more capable to help then anyone else of His creation.

Yes, there are times it’s perfectly normal and acceptable and even best to ask for help but that is rare cases as most affairs are only tests from Allah and will resolve themself through patience and time.

We need to leave this idea of fast solutions, stress and worry about what Allah has already decreed. Dua, this is the key to success!

It is You we worship and You we ask for help. (Quran 1.5)

6 comments

    • Unfortunately many people don’t value those who care about them. But those with good hearts continue to care regardless.

    • I can understand That, but to do things not expecting anything from that person in return but the reward from the One who created us is more fulfilling

  1. Sometimes it feels like there are two kinds of women in this world: those who act as “mothers,” caring for the needs of others, and those who act as though they are “children,” selfishly thinking of their own needs first. This has little to do with age or whether or not the “mothers” of this world actually have children of their own. There are takers and there are givers.

    You sound like you are a giving person. You care about the people around you. It’s hard when people you care about don’t return your kindness in the same way. (This has happened to me as well.) However, it helps ME to remind myself that I can NOT control the actions of others, only my own actions. What other women do, is NOT a reflection of my own actions. If they are selfish, let it be their own problem. Not mine! I will continue to do what is right and kind.

    As I get older, I am also learning how to ask for the things I need. I often assume since I know what needs to be done, that other people are just as intuitive. This isn’t always true! We all bring our own experiences to situations. For example, when I’m upset, I may prefer to talk about it while my friend may prefer to quietly think about their problems and that too much asking would be rude! We all see things differently. This is also true of household chores. Just because I see that something needs to be done, doesn’t mean it’s a priority for my family. I get MUCH more consistent results if I don’t assume anything and simply ask for the things I need. It’s not a contest of wills. LOL

    Have a wonderful day!
    Juli

    • I live the way you worded this. I couldnt agree more, some are selfish but i honestly feel some of it is unintentional. I feel you with the household chores thing… I totally agree. No expectations no dissapoitment

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